


L.A.D.Y.B.U.(d)G

by ThisIsMyStory_ItsALittleStrange (TeachUsSomethingPlease)



Series: L.A.D.Y.B.U.(d)G-verse [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bullying, Evil Lila Rossi, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, I didn't know whether to put Nathaniel with Marc or Chloe but why can't they all be happy together?, Lila Rossi Bashing, Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed, Lukanette, M/M, Manipulative Lila Rossi, Multi, No beta we die like Harry dammit Dumbles check your work, Suicide Attempt, adrigami, mostly fluff really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26614162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeachUsSomethingPlease/pseuds/ThisIsMyStory_ItsALittleStrange
Summary: Or,Lila is now dubbed an annoying, chirping cricket.In which finding common ground with Chloé turns into a pretty sweet way to take Lila down and cut down on akumas.Warning! Though this focusses on the fluff, you'll find references to bullying and suicide.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Kagami Tsurugi, Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marc Anciel & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marc Anciel/Chloé Bourgeois/Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Alix Kubdel, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Nathaniel Kurtzberg
Series: L.A.D.Y.B.U.(d)G-verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937254
Comments: 29
Kudos: 370





	L.A.D.Y.B.U.(d)G

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a picture I randomly drew of Chloe and Marinette commiserating and being fashion queens over snacks. You can have it when I figure out how to post it.  
> Edit: Tada!

* * *

It’s possibly the most ridiculous thing in the world, but Adrien, the goofball, insisted, which was how an unofficial group that _could_ have been named something like the Waterfall of Truth or Paris’s Chosen ended up instead calling themselves ‘The Association of Blessed Eyes, Usurping Crickets’. _L’association des yeux bénisses, usurpes des grillons_. Marinette isn’t even sure if it’s grammatically correct, damn it. Adrien sure is a little LADYBU(d)G crazy.

Marinette can’t quite remember exactly when she stopped tolerating Chloé and started liking her instead, but it definitely happened at some stage in the last month or so. Perhaps it’s time to get her classmates some good old-fashioned psychological help, because the more people you pile on Chloé, the nicer she gets, just as the more (properly regulated) affection you pile on Adrien, the happier he gets, and it’s got to have something to do with crappy parenting because Marinette doesn’t have these problems, and she’s under just about as much pressure at school, thank you very much. And that’s disregarding the Akuma-Amok situation entirely.

Though the stepping-stones along the way are blurry, the point at which they stepped into the river is clear as day. Chloé was getting sick of losing her attention (and Sabrina), Adrien was a little too uncomfortable with Lila hanging off him, and Marinette was just plain done. With everything and everyone. Things were entirely coming to a head, the three building up heads of steam just from sitting in class, trying in vain to block out their surroundings – but honestly, Chloé was attuned to attention, Marinette was constantly being needled or worse, and it was _really_ hard to concentrate on the board with a weight dragging your shoulder just about through the floor.

Marinette was sweet and passive, Chloé was – well – Chloé, and Adrien was halfway between a fluffy kitten and socially incompetent.

Ladybug, Queen Bee, and Chat Noir, on the other hand…

So when an obviously irate Chloé and a half-panicked half-resigned Adrien barged into the bakery demanding food, Marinette didn’t see an enemy pulling around a crush, she saw , with the dizzying clarity that comes after saving your own life, an opportunity, just as one sees how to use a teapot to defeat a rampaging super-minion. Not that Marinette actually remembered how that worked out, but the point still stood. Marinette’s arms were still stinging and like hell if she would let anyone else go her way.

“That girl!” Chloé snarled through a macaron. “She’s a menace. She needs to get her mitts away from you – and her LIES! Ugh! It’s ridiculous, ABSOLUTELY ridiculous, and – UGH! If I gain weight because of her…”

“Calm down, Chlo,” Adrien said weakly, nibbling on a croissant.

“I will NOT, Adrikins! She’s a pain, and I want her gone! And what the hell is your father thinking, using her as a model? She’s not even that good looking! I’m much better looking.”

“That’s true,” Adrien grumbled. “And marginally less likely to pull my arm out of its socket,” he added under his breath.

“I can’t stand being around her,” Chloé continued viciously, cramming another macaron into her mouth – whole, to Marinette’s astonishment. “She’s a disgrace, an utter disgrace. And she says she’s friends with Ladybug! Please! Ladybug won’t even let me be Queen Bee, why would she be anywhere around that – UGH!”

Chloé said ‘ugh’ a lot lately, Marinette noted from the kitchen. Thank god it wasn’t from bad cooking. In any case, Chloé’s voice was impressively loud, and if anyone had assumed any more than general teenage temper-tantrums, things could have gotten ugly right then and there, but the citizens of Paris were more than a little used to the dramatics of Chloé Bourgeois, so they went about their days as if nothing had happened.

A lot had happened. Marinette could be devious, when she wanted to be, and she wasn’t an airhead either, even if she was perpetually late and tripped over her own feet and lost speech function when confronted with a love interest. Between her and her millennia-old companion, it wasn’t too hard to come up with a basic game plan, and nor was it difficult to convince her parents to let her bake some treats. It was nice to see Marinette working the bakery for a change, Tom had commented. If Marinette was right, it was going to become regular.

The next day, Marinette ‘decided’ she was going home for lunch, not that anyone seemed to care. Her classmates’ universal cold shoulder aided her in her task, if she was completely honest, and it wasn’t too hard to corner Chloé.

“Hey,” she said. Wonderful, Marinette. You’re coherent. Fantastic, she must be so impressed.

Chloé raised an eyebrow. “What is it, Dupain-Cheng?”

“I don’t want to eat with everyone else,” Marinette blurted. “Lila is… well, you’ve seen. I noticed the… incident in the bakery yesterday. I don’t want to be alone. Want to come along with me? I baked these specially so they won’t be as heavy as the other pastries.”

Chloé narrowed her eyes at the girl in front of her. “What’s in it for you?”

Marinette shrugged. “I just want company in hatred, I guess. Look, Chloé, we’re never going to be besties, but as far as I’m concerned, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” She glanced around herself, before adding, “Maybe we can take her down.”

Chloé looked torn between impressed and her normal haughty, you’re-all-peasants expression. “Wow, Dupain-Cheng. Didn’t know you had it in you. Not so sweet, then?”

“I hate liars,” Marinette replied evenly. “Lila turned an entire class against me, stole by best friend, treats Adrien like a doll, and tries to leach off multiple of my idols. All you ever did was tease me.”

Chloé frowned at her. “This a one-off, or regular?”

Marinette shrugged. “Do you want it to be regular? Because I could sure use some smart company right now.”

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Chloé smirked. “Okay, but I want more of those.” She indicated Marinette’s pastry box. Chloé did, after all, still operate like herself. But between two evils, Marinette would choose Chloé in a heartbeat. And so began the regular meetings on the bank of the Seine with too many pastries and a lot of vindictive venting. For once, Marinette could not have cared less what Chloé was saying because every bit of it was deserved. Even after a week, things were going strong. No being picked on, nothing. If anything, Chloé was loosening up.

And then Adrien showed up, looking harassed and muttering about ‘giving them the slip’ and ‘dumpsters’ and ‘you’re my friends, I can sit with you’, more as a reassurance to himself than anything. Chloé welcomed him into the fold and demanded food for him, as expected, and so it was that their little party of two would, on occasion, become a trio.

Marinette learned a lot about Chloé. In an ideal world, perhaps they wouldn’t be so different. If Chloé had never been spoilt rotten, perhaps they might have been best buds. Adrien certainly seemed to think so, postulating that if only they’d do more than tolerate each other, they could rise far above the Agreste line. Possibly take over the world, if Marinette didn’t assert herself enough, but the point stood. Chloé secretly liked a lot of things – cosplay, Adrien’s Asian cartoons, Marinette’s designs, horribly sugary sweets. Then there were the things she liked openly – bossing people around, obviously, but also fashion and spa days and, even if she showed it in a way that was just as much a train wreck as Marinette’s attempts, Adrien.

One day Luka showed up out of nowhere, plopped himself down next to Adrien, stole a biscuit, and refused to leave. So that was how he ended up joining in the daily picnics. He took no crap from Chloé, but wasn’t antagonistic and was grounded enough that his presence was practically required to balance the others out, so they let him stay. He didn’t know Lila, not really, but seemed to have heard enough from Juleka to have a cautious idea of what was going on. His indignation knew no bounds, however, as a cake-eating trio methodically demolished a small selection of ‘basic examples’ for his benefit. There was absolutely no denying that Luka was fond of Marinette, and he was just as put out over the potential for his sister to be taken advantage of. He tried hard with Juleka, he really did, but eventually had to settle for her neutrality. He met Lila, once, and said she sounded like strangled cats and dull crunching and angry hissing. Marinette called that irony and wondered, not for the first time, exactly how perceptive Luka actually was.

Kagami was… difficult. She and Chloé were at each other’s throats in the first few days, despite Adrien’s pleas and the copious quantity of food consumed. It calmed down after a while, mostly after Marinette pointed out there was no point to them fighting over Adrien when Lila was using him as a waifu pillow. Still, Kagami was a fair companion to have, and brought LADYBUG up to five members, which was more than pleasant. In fact, it was at this point that Marinette began doing a little more than commiserating with the others – she started planning.

By the time Alix showed up, grouchily citing an inability to speak her mind and something that _just didn’t add up_ , Kagami and Chloé were civil, Kagami was lightening up, Chloé was actually being nice of her own accord, Adrien was having his right to self-actualization being forcibly beaten into him, Luka had amusedly compiled a large chart stating how they fitted together as a team, and Marinette was finally becoming comfortable with her new friends. Alix was welcomed into the light with wide open arms and the weirdest combination of food anyone had ever seen, for people other than Marinette had finally begun bringing over their own lunch to share.

* * *

“I miss being Queen Bee,” Chloé commented one day, lying down on a picnic mat on the grass and staring up at the sky. “I know why Ladybug says I can’t do it anymore, I really do, but I miss it.”

“It’s a shame you can’t change your costume,” Adrien commented. “The costumes – for both the heroes and akumas – they conceal who you are so well. If you switched over, nobody would know it was you.”

Well, crap. Adrien was a freaking genius, and this was _not_ helping Marinette’s crush in the slightest.

“Maybe she’ll gift you a different power,” Luka mused. “Nobody really knows how they work, do they?”

Marinette was surrounded by a bunch of liars and she wanted to laugh instead of rage. Her life was turning into a sitcom. “Yeah, Chloé, that might happen. You’re loads nicer.”

“Thanks, Marinette. I think.” Chloé grabbed a sushi roll and popped it into her mouth.

“I wonder what the others are doing?” Alix said thoughtfully.

“Fawning over Lila, no doubt,” Marinette grumbled.

“She bites now,” Kagami noted. “Good. Passivity is… not what you need.”

* * *

“Chloé Bourgeois.”

Marinette had made a decision. Master Fu would never have approved, but she was the Guardian now, and hell if she didn’t make her own choices. She hadn’t slept in two days, Lila was driving her even more nuts than usual, she had a composition for Jagged to finish, and _fricken Hawk Moth_ apparently found it appropriate to send akumas after teenagers at 3 in the morning. A lack of harmony would tear the team apart – and they didn’t even really have a team yet, just a duo! For Tikki’s sake!

“Ladybug!” Chloé jumped to her feet. “What is it? Do you need help? What’s going on? Oh, no, did I do something wrong?”

“Chloé,” Marinette began, before pausing. “ _Chaton._ ”

Chat Noir popped his head up over the window. “Uh-huh, M’lady?”

“Get in the room,” Ladybug sighed, and the boy jumped through the window.

“Ladybug? Chat Noir?” Chloé looked genuinely worried. What a difference good friends could make. “Did I do something? Cause an akuma?”

Personally, Marinette thought it was quite cute watching Chloé worry in front of her idol, though she’d lose that privilege eventually, if she stuck to the plan. “There’s nothing wrong., Chloé.”

“Everything’s purrfect,” Chat Noir added, and Ladybug groaned.

“So… why are you here?” Chloé asked. “Are you going to give me Pollen back?”

Marinette sighed and held out the box. “Chloé Bourgeois, this is the Bee Miraculous, that you have wielded before. Hold onto it, keep it hidden, keep it safe. Do not tell anyone you have it, nor your identity. When you transform, will yourself to have a different outfit. The Miraculous gives you what you truly desire. You’ll need a new name. Consider yourself on a sort of probation. Chat and I need help. If you can avoid causing akumas and keep the Miraculous safe, you can keep it on a permanent basis, until the threat to Paris is gone or you relinquish it.”

“Really?” Chloé squealed. “I’ll be really careful, I promise! I’m going to be… I’m going to be Lady Gold!”

“Take it, then, Lady Gold,” Chat urged her, surprisingly serious, all things considered, and Chloe took the comb, out, jumping up and down as Pollen popped out. Ladybug and Chat left her to it. There was, after all, a reunion to be considered.

* * *

“We can’t get akumatized,” Ladybug warned him. “It’s far too dangerous. From now on, we have to control our negative emotions.”

“Purr-lease,” Chat scoffed. “Haven’t I told you this a million times, my Lady? I would never betray you.”

“But you did,” Ladybug pointed out quietly. “You did and you fought me.”

Chat’s face stiffened slightly. “And I won’t. Not again. You can count on me, Bugaboo.”

“I hope so,” Ladybug told him. “If this stuffs up, Paris is doomed, so you’d better not be the cause, alley cat.”

“I _won’t_ ,” he stressed. “On three?”

“Okay. One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

Both heroes whispered the deactivation phrase and watched, first in curiosity, then in shock, as disguises melted away, kwamis tackled each other, and two very familiar faces were left standing against the Paris skyline.

“M-my lady? Mari?”

“Oh, god, you’re – destiny hates me. It hates me!”

* * *

“So,” Marinette squeaked. “We sort of told each other our identities.”

“Uh huh,” Chloé said, watching them. “Why are you guys twitching? Is Chat Noir really ugly or something?”

Marinette laughed in a slightly giddy, slightly crazed way. “Oh, no, nothing like that, Lady Gold.”

“I should hope not, that would be claw-ful – OW! Bugaboo!”

Meanwhile, Marinette forcibly stopped her impending cardiac arrest and reminded herself that this was the same idiot who could fit multiple cat puns into a single sentence, on the fly. He deserved it.

“Is that why you’ve brought us here?” Luka asked. “To tell us who you are? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“We’ve all got to work on controlling our emotions. Someone told me a while ago that if a team can’t harmonize, it’ll tear itself apart, and we can’t harmonize if we’re keeping secrets.”

Luka blinked at her in (very) mild surprise as Kagami spoke up. “It is indeed a problem, but how can it be guaranteed that nobody will be akumatized?”

“It can’t, but we’re pretty damn awesome, and we can stick it to the man,” Adrien chirped. Why was he like this? “I bet My Lady hasn’t been akumatized.”

“I haven’t,” Marinette admitted, “But it’s been close. I think that with us protecting each other, we can make this work. I’ve been saved by the people around me before. I picked out all of you, except Chat, and I’ve made some mistakes before in choosing holders, but I think you guys are what we need.”

“I hope so,” Alix said bluntly, “Or this will go to crap.” Thanks, Alix. Thanks a bunch.

“We can start with Lady Gold,” Adrien proposed.

Chloé nodded eagerly. “Pollen, buzz off!” she cried, and in seconds was standing there in civilian attire. “It’s me!”

Kagami tilted her head slightly, watching Chloé with curiosity, while Luka was now openly staring at Marinette. _Too perceptive._

“Okay, Imperial Fire next,” Marinette instructed, and Kagami dutifully detransformed to mild surprise.

“Why’d you change?” Alix asked. “What happened to Ryuuko?”

“That was also me,” Kagami said calmly. “Unfortunately, Hawk Moth was one of the few who found out.”

“Bit of a problem, that,” Luka said slowly, glancing around from Alix to Marinette to Adrien.

“Bunnyx! We already know. Sort of. But hey, everyone else is detransforming, and it’d be paw-ful if you didn’t join in,” Adrien said, dodging a half-hearted attack from Marinette and grinning impudently as he did so.

“Hi,” Alix said, ears popping off. “I didn’t expect this so soon, but I’ll take it.”

“That leaves me, and you two,” Luka noted. “You never brought along Rena Rouge or Carapace, and they seemed to be your go-tos. And what about the others? There’s Pegasus and King Monkey too.”

“Alya Çesaire and Nino Lahiffe,” Marinette said stiffly. “Pegasus was Max Kanté and King Monkey was Le Chien Kim.”

Chloé snorted. “Well, I can see why they aren’t here now...”

“Can I?” Luka asked, and Adrien nodded eagerly, no doubt curious. As Sass popped out and was crash-tackled by Pollen, he turned to Marinette. “My Lady.”

“I choose well,” Marinette said smugly.

“Technically, you didn’t choose Chloé,” he teased. “And you did mess up those other ones…”

“Kitty,” she grumbled.

“So,” Chloé burst out impatiently, “Who are you?”

“Yeah!” Alix cried. “I’ve been waiting to find out for ages! Do you know how frustrating it is to know you’ll know but not know?”

Kagami stared at the rosy-haired girl. “That was an awful sentence.”

Luka said nothing, though he was smiling somewhat.

“Me first,” Adrien chirped. “Plagg, claws in!” Green lights flashed, the black suit melted away, and There was a dead silence for a second as three sets of eyes stared and one watched blandly (for Tikki’s sake, Luka, what the hell?!)

“You’re Chat Noir?” Kagami finally said. “But – you act nothing like him!”

“Well, he has lightened up a bit,” Alix pointed out.

“He really has,” Ladybug sighed. “If it helps, I had no idea.”

“I called you names!” Chloé moaned.

“Chat’s kind of an escape ego,” Adrien admitted sheepishly. “I can do whatever I like. Well. Almost.”

“Too right,” Marinette grumbled. “I keep you in line.”

“Day and night,” he teased.

“Shut up!”

“Just change already!” Alix cried. “Who are you? How did you know all of us?”

Marinette sighed. “Tikki? Spots off.”

“MARINETTE?!”

Adrien cackled in a very Chat-like way as Marinette groaned and put her reddening face in her hands. “This was a bad idea.”

“Our Marinette? No wonder you’ve gotten so kick-ass lately!” Alix cheered. “You must have been way pissed!”

“I must admit, this is a surprise,” Kagami said. “All of LADYBUG is here.”

“Good chooser?” Marinette squeaked.

“She goes smack into brain melt mode as soon as she takes the suit off,” Chloé marvelled quietly to herself.

“I think so,” Adrien said loyally. “She picked us all before Ladybug. We just came along.”

“We’re perfect,” Alix said reverently. “This is great.”

“Now I don’t know if I want Ladynoir to sail or not,” Chloé groaned.

* * *

“Marinette?”

“Yes, Chloé?”

“… thank you.”

* * *

“I’m so tired,” Marinette groaned, nearly flopping over onto Chloé’s plate.

“Tell me about it,” Adrien agreed from his spot in the sunshine. “And my father wants me to do _another_ photoshoot. I am _this far_ ,” he held up two fingers very close together, “From disintegrating both the cricket _and_ my dear old dad.”

“Speaking of the cricket, she reckons she set Chat Noir and Imperial Fire up together,” Alix giggled. “Whatcha say to that?”

“I didn’t expect any better,” Kagami muttered, “But it is still a disappointment.”

“Çesaire thinks it’s brilliant,” Chloé scoffed. “And she was the second biggest Ladynoir shipper. After me, of course.”

“It’s a shame so many people are just following whatever Rossi says,” Luka sighed. “I’m worried about Juleka and Rose. Rose is too trusting and I’m losing my sister _again_.”

“Thank god we agreed to keep things quiet,” Adrien sighed. “It would be a PR disaster if we all started dating right as our alters did.”

“We’d probably have to bait and switch again,” Alix agreed. “Still, we didn’t, and future me’s still around, so it must go well, right?”

“I dunno, the rabbit’s a – well, rabbit hole,” Luka pointed out. “I’ve got a reset switch, you’ve got free reign over the entire timeline. It makes sense that some paradoxes must show up.”

“Depressing,” Chloé complained. “Marinette, another macaron please.”

“Right here,” Marinette yawned. “Isn’t this weird?”

“Hanging out with you losers? Not you, Adrikins, the rest of you. Yes, it is.”

“Lila upset the status quo without regard for what it might do outside of her control,” Kagami said. “Maybe it’s a good thing, in the long run.”

“Right,” Alix agreed. “We know who we can trust, who we can’t, who’s gullible, who we need to watch out for.”

“As much as I hate to say it, I think we’ll have to watch out for Miss Bustier,” Adrien said glumly. “I read those papers you sent me, Kagami, and you were right, Lila should have been pulled up pretty quickly. Come to think of it, you should have too, Chlo. Sorry.”

Chloé opened her mouth, closed it, and sighed. “Maybe, but in my defence, I only had you and Sabrina. And you definitely owe me a shopping trip now.”

“Weirdly enough, Sabrina’s one of the dangerous ones, along with Alya and Ivan,” Alix said. “Rose, Kim, Max, Nino, and Mylène are blind followers, and Juleka’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Nathanael… I don’t know. Considering the Chloé situation…”

“Damocles is a problem too,” Marinette muttered. “Mendeleiev, well, she doesn’t take crap, but she’s been a danger to the Miraculouses in the past…”

As they mulled it over, there was a loud crash from the other side of the city and the sound of civilian screams.

“Again?!” Alix moaned. “What is up with this guy?”

“We’d better get down,” Marinette sighed, jumping to her feet. “Remember the rules. Let’s go!”

* * *

Twelve resets.

 _Twelve_.

“It was only a toddler!” Luka cried. “How can it take twelve resets? That’s twelve times things went worse that Chloé falling seven stories, Marinette going through three windows, Alix getting her foot crushed by a falling piece of concrete, and Adrien losing an _ear!_ What is WRONG with Hawkmoth?!”

Sometimes this would happen after particularly reset-heavy fights. Time miraculouses tended to impart a little more trauma on the user than was standard. Dying with a Miraculous in function, Luka told her, caused the disguise to melt away, something that was no doubt one of the main roots of his disturbance; the fact that Hawk Moth continued didn’t help in the slightest. At least the heroes knew not to expect or give mercy.

“We won,” Marinette said firmly, as Adrien tugged at his regrown ear as if it might come off.

“You died three times!”

“He has a point,” Chloé said grimly. “You’re probably the most experienced of all of us, because you’ve had to fight every single akuma and sentimonster that comes along. If you die, then Alix and Luka can, and if they do, we’re royally screwed.”

“Consider how bad the results may have been if we did not know each other,” Kagami pointed out. “If Alix could not have trusted I had a plan…”

“We probably would have lost both of you right then, and then we would have failed without your lightning attack,” Adrien finished.

“That’s _exactly_ what would have happened,” Luka muttered.

* * *

“I have not had sleep in three days!” Marinette declared, sitting down at the back of the class, early for once but in no good state. Alix winced quite visibly – while she wasn’t in quite the same situation of total sleep deprivation, it wasn’t as though the sentimonster kindly summoned at 4 in the morning did any good for her brain function.

Lila shot Marinette a dirty look before turning back to what she had been doing – a very long bragging session in front of her captive audience. “Uh-huh, I was there. It was so scary, but Ladybug saved me, of course. I wanted to help, but she said it was too dangerous this time.”

Actually, by the third reset, Luka had become so heartily pissed he’d deposited her at the top of a big tree and continued to do so in the two resets after. Chloé helped with far too much venom in the last instance, because as far as she was concerned, _she_ was Ladybug’s BFF. Whether she really held the title was up for debate, considering Marinette had finally gotten over Adrien and was also going pretty well with Alix, but nobody was going to complain.

Marinette went to grab her phone out of her pocket, only for Nathaniel and Chloé to shift slightly, revealing Nathanael’s already recording cell phone, and Chloé’s own phone taking a backup copy. It was probably a good thing; recording things was technically illegal, and while Chloé had familial immunity, Marinette would get tossed under the bus without a second thought.

Her thoughts were interrupted by an overstated gasp. “My book, it’s torn!”

Marinette groaned internally and put on her Ladybug-is-irritated-but-a-good-hero face.

“Marinette, how could you?!”

“That’s so mean!”

“Why would you do that to Lila?”

Marinette heaved a slightly overdramatized sigh (maybe spending so long with Chloé was messing with her? Or it could have been Adrien, at this point, considering his theatrical performances as Chat. In any case, somebody was rubbing off on her, but when someone else was also overdoing it, two could play at that game). “I was with Luka in the hallway before I walked into this classroom, we were talking about music and he wandered into the school with me. And I was with my parents all night. It wasn’t me.”

“Don’t lie, Marinette!”

“It’s true!” Chloé exclaimed, and the class jumped in surprise. “I was going to see the sentimonster, and I walked past her parent’s ratty little bakery, and she was there, right, Nathaniel?”

“Yeah, I had you take a picture for me to sketch,” Nathaniel agreed. “I can find it?”

Thank you, Crimson Mirage. And thank god Chloé and I needed alibis.

“O-oh,” Lila stammered, before quickly regaining her poise. “It’s okay. I just thought, Marinette has been so mean to me… I just want to be friends, but she always seems to target me!”

“Oh, it’s okay, Lila!”

“Don’t worry, we understand.”

“It’s really not fair on you.”

“Maybe your arthritis was playing up and you stuck it in wrong by accident?”

“Yes,” Lila sighed, “That’s probably it. I’m… _so sorry, Marinette._ ”

“No problem,” Marinette said, in her Ladybug-is-pissed-but-whatever voice.

* * *

And that was how it came to be that LADYBUG would sit on the bank of the Seine and – well, complain, mostly. Chloé dragged along Nathaniel, after the whole Crimson Mirage give-the-kids-an-alibi incident, who then promptly dragged along a reluctant Marc. Marc eventually had Wayzz dumped on him (“You can hop out of your shell a little – OW! Princess, why…), much to his trepidation. It was weird seeing Chloé share, especially a person, but certainly not unpleasant.

“Well, it’s getting easier to defeat the akumas again,” Alix said eventually. “When do we do something about Lila?”

“What can we do?” Adrien sighed. “I mean, she holds all the cards.”

“Sue the pants off her,” Chloé chirped with an evil grin.

“She’s been smiling randomly like that for about a week,” Nathaniel told them, “Something’s up, but I don’t ask because whenever I point it out she stops.”

“Well, we got evidence, duh,” Chloé snorted. “There’s definitely something to be said for a heap of things. Public endangerment, fraud, harassment of multiple sorts, and truancy.”

“Doesn’t she have diplomatic immunity? And how do you know this stuff?” Marinette squeaked.

“I didn’t hang around Sabrina and learn nothing,” Chloé snorted. “Plus, Daddy’s the mayor. Why wouldn’t I learn this?”

“…I’m glad we’re on her side,” Marc commented.

“That’s good news, Chloé,” Kagami agreed. “Even without being in your class, she seems to be a problem. We’ve had a few close calls just from her, sometimes in costume.”

“Like the Seine incident,” Marinette agreed, shooting her boyfriend a side-eye.

“Hey! We both know she doesn’t know Jagged. I don’t even know why Juleka listens to her, mum was in his band, for crying out loud. She definitely can’t get her anything, and I don’t want her upset. Plus, she tried to get herself akumatized that morning, you said? I was pissed, okay?!”

“Maybe you and Marc should swap,” Alix sniggered.

“No, thank you,” Marc said hastily. “I like Wayzz.”

“So, option one is we sue her,” Adrien noted. “But… maybe it’s just me being stupid… but… shouldn’t we do something less drastic first?”

“We have, though,” Marinette sighed. “And unlike an akuma, she’s in control of herself.”

“After yesterday? No way in hell are we going soft,” Luka added, grabbing Marinette and placing her on his lap. “She’s done too much damage – she did it way before we even started this.”

“Also, I want her away from you,” Kagami added. “I understand it might come across as possessive, but I don’t want her to even speak to you.”

“Good luck with that at the current rate,” Chloé grumbled, “She’s been in every shoot I’ve seen. And they _are_ getting older.”

Marinette made a retching noise.

“…quite,” Nathaniel agreed. “You know, if Lila was a boy…”

“No, we’re not considering it,” Marc said with surprising firmness. “I have enough problems without _that_ on my mind.”

* * *

Which brought them up to the present.

“It failed?!” Chloé shrieked. “But – how?!”

“They wouldn’t even see it,” Marinette said gently. “You had no chance. She was just a bigger fish.”

“I’m going to kill her,” Chloé growled.

“Just so you know, this is how the rest of us peasants live,” Alix piped up. “Alright, that’s thirty pages in the trash. Plan B?”

“Plan B is extremely risky,” Marinette worried.

“It’s also necessary. The longer you leave that girl around, the worse she gets,” Kagami said firmly. “She is not a friend, nor a rival, she is our opponent, and we _will_ destroy her.”

“Dad’s going to blow his top,” Adrien muttered.

“That’s why we’re going through with the fake switch,” Marinette reminded him. “If something goes wrong, you’ll have the ability to transform, but otherwise, we can pretend it’s moved on.”

“You do realise this is going to out three relationships and… well… Alix?” Marc asked timidly.

“It will, but at this point, it’s more than us,” Chloé said stoutly. “I’ll protect all of you. You’re all mine.”

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Alix grinned. “Chloé Bourgeois putting others first.”

“I’ll leave you up a tree,” Chloé deadpanned.

“Time to start contacting people, I guess,” Adrien muttered. “You can get a hold of Jagged, right, Princess?”

“I told him a while back. I had help Penny convince him not to sic Fang on anybody. He got a little… aggravated,” Marinette said delicately.

“I can get Daddy to support us,” Chloé said eagerly.

“Good. I could ask my mother to speak. I’m not sure if she would agree, but it _is_ about public safety and standing up for yourself, so I think I have a good chance,” Kagami declared.

“I’ll contact Aurore,” Adrien decided. “She’ll get us better coverage than a Ladyblog leak; and anyway, my father would never agree to anything, so I’d best do my bit there. She’ll recognize me better.”

“It’s a shame we can’t have Nino film this,” Alix sighed. “But he’s still fawning over Lila, even after he lost priority over the Turtle Miraculous.”

“What goes around comes around,” Nathaniel said grimly. “Leave the artistic production to me. It may not be my forte, but I am an artist.”

* * *

“Alright, Paris!” Aurore said excitedly. The young woman was buzzing as she stood in front of the camera, the Miraculous Holders by her side. “This is a special broadcast from our favourite heroes! They’ve decided to go out on a limb and help Paris in a new way with their talk today! We’ve recorded interviews in a collaboration between them and some well-known Parisians and I, for one, can’t wait to see the result. Is there anything to say before we begin?”

“No, it’s all good,” Marinette assured the eager reporter. “We do have to speak at the end, though.”

“Of course,” Aurore agreed. “Let’s roll the tape!”

In Miss Bustier’s class, the students eagerly watched the screen. Mayor Bourgeois had… persuaded… most of the Parisian education system to take time out for this, citing a number of reasons. In reality, his daughter had come along, buzzing over how _Ladybug asked me to ask you_ , and he was loath to refuse his precious girl. It was only a few minutes of speech, and it would make her happy. Besides, what politician _wouldn’t_ jump at the chance? A PR opportunity and way to keep his girl satisfied, and if all of Paris was watching, GOOD.

Within the class, however, an atmosphere, just vaguely off, was hovering ominously over the childrens’ heads. It was, for one, much emptier than normal; Chloé had some important event to go to, Adrien was modelling, Alix had an appointment, Nathaniel was missing in general, and Marinette was probably late again. Juleka twitched uncomfortably. Luka had left early that morning, and he hung around the missing students a surprising amount. She was worried. When Juleka was worried, Rose noticed, and when Rose noticed, Rose got stressed, and now an aura of Rose Stress™ was throwing off the mood within the classroom, not that anyone was properly identifying the cause.

Aurore smiled, the broadcast switched over to the heroes’ film, and the show began.

* * *

“Do you know how many times M’Lady has saved Paris from an akuma attack or sentimonster in the past month?” Chat Noir asked, as a helpful little box with his name and a cartoon of him popped up in the corner of the screen.

“I don’t,” Aurore’s disembodied voice replied. “You do?”

“Seventy-eight,” he replied. “That’s a little more than five every two days.”

“That sounds dangerous.”

“It is,” he confirmed, face serious. “We’ll be upfront with you, Miss Boreal. Every single one of us is still legally a child. Akumas attack at any time, as do sentimonsters. And Ladybug has to attend every single attack.”

The screen switched to Lady Gold holding a stack of paper, with _Lady Gold_ on the screen and a (distinctly better looking. Nathaniel was biased as hell) cartoon of herself in the same corner. “I went back through the record and counted,” she said. “It took a lot of work, but I found everything. Ladybug has been to a total of 423 of Hawkmoth’s attacks. In comparison, Chat Noir has missed four. Originally, only about a sixth of attacks required an auxiliary hero. In the past two months, that has increased to 80%.”

“That’s… quite scary,” Aurore admitted. “So Hawkmoth is getting worse.”

“It’s obvious,” Lady Gold sniffed. “We defeat him, and he gets worse each time to overwhelm us. It’s ridiculous. And it takes a toll.”

The screen switched to Bunnyx. “I… don’t quite remember when Ladybug first had a close call with an akuma. It happened before I was a permanent auxiliary hero. Even now, I think, if that had happened, I couldn’t have gone back. I couldn’t have fixed things. Without Ladybug, we lose everything.”

Back in Miss Bustier’s class, a few people gasped.

“Of course, it’s natural to be targeted when you’re upset. It happens.” Viperion was speaking now. “But most akumas succeed, which is why we protect Ladybug – and to a greater extent, each other – at all costs.”

“So you know each other?” Aurore asked.

“We didn’t, at first,” Viperion admitted. “But eventually, it became a necessity. The guardian at the time, Ladybug, already knew everyone except Chat. We were all there for a reason – Ladybug thought she could trust us. Eventually, we had to know each other to work together properly. That’s why we found a new Guardian.”

“Was it a surprise?”

He smiled slightly. “For some. I think… I sort of started figuring things out when we were called over. But I couldn’t be sure.”

“Is this linked to the fact a number of relationships have appeared within your number?”

“Not fully. But a person is still themselves in costume, however they may act… it helped, I think. Along with the attempts at matchmaking that popped up the next day.” He smiled fully. “That’s how I got together with Ladybug.”

Back in the classroom, there were a few (mostly female) gasps. “Aw, Lila, you never said!” Rose exclaimed. “You should have told us!”

The students, however, quietened down again as the screen switched to a grim looking Lady Gold. She heroine opened her mouth, took a breath, and began. “The first time we really worried was when Ladybug, as a civilian, was targeted by an akuma and we had to catch it in a jar because she couldn’t resist it properly.”

Silence. It technically wasn’t even false. The early days of LADYBUG had been rocky.

“And obviously that’s a big problem, Ladybug is the heart of the team and if she’s being attacked… something’s wrong.”

The screen switched to a rarely seen, timid hero – the new turtle hero. ‘Shield Tortoise’ the words on the screen reminded helpfully. “I was taken on when the team was in the process of trying to solve the problem. We all helped research,” he said softly. “I was suggested by Crimson Mirage and Lady Gold.”

“That must have felt good.”

“At first, maybe,” Shield Tortoise admitted. “But… things were still wrong. I asked Goldie to look at the stats…”

The screen switched to Lady Gold again. “Over 60%.”

“60%?” Aurore asked.

“Yes.” The heroine swallowed. “60% - and often the most destructive attacks – are caused by bullying at schools alone. 10% is misconduct in the workplace, 15% are very young children, and the remaining 5% are wronged in another way. So… 70% or more of Paris’s… incidents… are directly associated with some form of bullying or harassment.”

The screen changed again and Ladybug was sitting in front of the camera. “How many attempts have been made to akumatize you?”

“Seven.”

“Are you part of the 70%?”

The girl nodded. “I am.”

At the lycée, the classroom filled with horrified noises.

“What? Who would – it’s Ladybug!” Mylène pointed out. “Nobody would do that?”

The class, however, was in for a lot more yet. The screen had flipped back to Chat Noir.

“I’m currently dating Imperial Fire,” he said. “But Ladybug is still My Lady, even if it’s not romantic. We did our best to try to make her feel better, to investigate the problem. My Fire thought it would be a good idea to go over a full timeline, to find out how long things had been going on for.”

Abruptly, Imperial Fire appeared on the screen. “And… that’s how we found out Ladybug attempted suicide a fortnight before we started forming.”

In the classroom, a silence fell, broken only by Alya’s shocked, “Oh my god.”

“How does that feel?” Aurore was asking, and various answers were given, from, “Useless,” (Chat Noir), “Guilty,” (Bunnyx), “Mad,” (Lady Gold), “Shocked,” (Crimson Mirage), and mute head-shaking followed by very rapid muttering about akumas (Viperion). The students watched in numb horror. Ladybug, the hero of Paris, had done WHAT?!

“The problem is,” Shield Tortoise said, “These things are very widespread. And we forget that they’re a form of abuse. Ladybug tried to get help, but nobody did anything – and she didn’t have us to back her up.”

Lady Gold appeared. “I’m a heroine now. I do my best to be good to people. But… not long ago, I was – I was pretty awful. I belittled people, I was rude, I tried to get close to a boy without worrying that I made him feel awkward – or downright uncomfortable. And when this all came out, it made me wonder, maybe I could have been the one who put Paris in danger. Changing isn’t easy. But I was given the chance and I took it and it means everything. I sometimes relapse, but I’ve got people to point it out. I have _two_ boys now to help me, real friends and everything.”

“I messed up a bit too. I let myself believe somebody was genuine when they were in fact hurting a friend of mine very badly,” Bunnyx said calmly. “I got out of it alone, but it goes to show that you should always be careful.”

“I was the same,” Crimson Mirage admitted. “Except I was too scared to do anything. I had to be pulled out by Goldie.”

“I was lucky,” Shield Tortoise said. “I missed out on these things. But I could have picked things up from talking to Crim.”

“…I didn’t support anyone,” Viperion said. “But I could have done more. I could have noticed when Ladybug was upset. I have a sibling in a class with problems, too, and she could get hurt too. She’s been akumatized before, been hurt badly before, and I don’t want it to happen again.”

“I…” Chat Noir paused and, across the country, people waited as the boy shifted slightly.

“Go on,” Aurore encouraged from behind the camera.

“I mucked up pretty badly, both for myself and others. I… had a friend, and I told her to just ignore the problem. It – it doesn’t always work like that. It’s hard to ignore these things. And some people just keep on attacking. My friend got messed up really bad… And – I had to have this explained by my fellow heroes, but…” he stopped again for a moment. “I … have a part-time job in modelling. It wasn’t until we were starting to get together and Fire and I started getting closer that she and Ladybug managed to beat it into my head that what was happening between Ladybug and I on missions and what happened between some people and I in life wasn’t the same. Because Ladybug always said no, but always made it clear she was fine. I didn’t realise I was allowed to say no.”

“Oh, god,” Kim groaned, making half the class jump. “That’s messed up.”

“No kidding, dude,” Nino agreed.

“Shh! Ladybug!” Juleka whispered.

Ladybug was sitting wedged between Viperion and Chat now with Lady Gold leaning over behind them. Ladybug was looking a combination of comfortable and mildly put out. “I was subject to a number of things. People lied about me and spread gossip. I was excluded. One person specifically went out of her way to try to break up my friendships and used my long-time crush to taunt me. The adults I went to always told me I just needed to be the bigger person.”

“Was that crush Viperion?”

Ladybug giggled. “No. This problem… it’s still going on, but since I moved on, it’s gotten better. Whenever I pointed out I was being attacked, people would try to use jealousy as an excuse, and, well, they can’t if I’m with someone else. And anyway, I have a support network now. I forgot I had others to reach out to.”

“I see.”

The screen switched over to a view of Jagged Stone, Fang, and Penny sitting on a couch. “It’s not cool,” Jagged said, apparently responding to an unheard question. “Hurting people like that? Not cool, not rock-and-roll.”

“We’ve experienced similar things ourselves,” Penny said gravely. “Jagged’s own niece was serially attacked. It was all I could do to stop things blowing up.”

“Bright young stars shouldn’t be held down,” Jagged said shortly. “And I’m definitely not standing for my own getting that treatment.”

Mayor Bourgeois.

“These akumas are hurting Paris! It may seem like just a single person, a simple thing, but this could endanger us all. I agree wholeheartedly with the heroes; this needs to be brought up.”

Tomoe Tsurugi.

“You cannot stand back and let yourself be weak. You must stand up! There is a difference between discipline and passivity!”

“Paris, this is important.” Shield Tortoise was back. “It began with us, but it effects all of you. We can stand up.”

“You can find it within yourself to change,” Lady Gold said.

“Look around you!” Bunnyx urged.

“Be brave,” Crimson Mirage added.

“Fight back!” Imperial Fire declared.

“Watch each other’s backs,” Viperion said.

“Remember that you are your own person,” Chat Noir advised.

“And always remember that there are people waiting for you. We can do this. We can make a better Paris. Together.” Ladybug finished.

* * *

The screen faded to black. Credits quickly rolled past ( _Interviewer: Aurore Boreal. Art: Crimson Mirage. Music: Viperion. Thanks to Jagged Stone, Peny Rolling, Mayor Bourgeois, and Tsurugi Tomoe)_ and then Aurore was back on screen as the citizens of Paris slowly processed what they had just seen. “So, as you no doubt realise, this is important stuff, Paris. So, Ladybug and co. You said you needed to speak at the end.”

“Yes. And thank you, Aurore and Channel 5 for agreeing to air this.” Ladybug walked over to the centre of the screen, the rest of the heroes crowding around. In retrospect, they did look like children, now, and a number of people, especially those citizens with their own children, had become rather fidgety over the course of the clip. Ladybug, however, was down to business. “We were originally going to leave things here. However,” and here she paused slightly, as if wondering whether this was a bad decision, “There is a certain confession that needs to be made. Lady Gold?”

Lady Gold stepped up. “Every example you heard from us today centred around a single source that we have identified as an epicentre for akuma attacks. In the interests of protecting the city, we’ve decided to take drastic action in the hope that this will be fixed and, along with the rest of our campaign, will be able to reduce the number of akumas in the long term. We have a plan, but it features a short danger period and we need your help.”

“For around a month after these attacks, we cannot guarantee that your heroes will be at the same claw-some standard – ow, Bunnyx, that’s not your job – you’re used to,” Chat Noir said. “We’ve all agreed that, in the interests of showing just how big this problem is, we will be revealing our civilian identities and stepping down in favour of our backup team.”

* * *

Gabriel Agreste spat out his coffee. “They have a BACKUP TEAM?! Nathalie, are you watching this?!”

* * *

“Really? But – why is this dangerous? It is a wise choice?” Aurore questioned, torn between excitement and trepidation.

“Our backup team has never seen real, but they have been trained by ourselves and they’re good enough to hold off Hawkmoth,” Ladybug said confidently. “I won’t deny that it may be a bumpy start, but it won’t be like starting over again.”

“Since we won’t be holding Miraculouses after today,” Imperial Fire added, “There is no danger of us being targeted, though we may or may not be able to be akumatized, depending on how we settle into ordinary civilian life.”

“Once we realised we could have lost Paris multiple times over something that can be easily prevented, we figured this was the only option,” Chat Noir said gravely. “It’s going to be hard stepping down from the role; it’s been a purpose for all of us, but this is more important.”

“Well, if you’re certain,” Aurore said, glancing to the side to see a semi-excited, semi-terrified staffer freaking out over a ratings chart that had just spiked massively.

“We are,” Lady Gold sniffed. “We planned well.” An unspoken _did you think we didn’t_ hung in the air.

“Let’s work backwards,” Ladybug suggested.

Shield Tortoise was shuffled to the front, where he looked nervously up at the camera. “Uh. So I’m Shield Tortoise. I… sorry, I’m new and there’s cameras… uh – anyway! I’m an artist who was once akumatized but was spared most of what the rest of the team faced…”

“Yay for the only person who could make our speeches coherent!” Bunnyx yelled.

“Uh – right. Anyway, in my civilian life, I am…”

To the shock of anyone who was expecting full detransformation, the mask simply melted away, revealing the teen’s face.

“…Marc Anciel.”

* * *

“They’re not detransforming,” Nathalie noted.

“And Paris is too high on heroes for me to akumatize anyone!” Gabriel cried.

“You could akumatize yourself, sir,” Nathalie suggested.

“…no, I’m interested and it’s _interfering_ ,” Gabriel groused.

* * *

“Wait, _that guy?_ ” Ivan asked, gaping at the screen. “The one who’s always with Nathaniel?”

“Uh oh,” Juleka muttered.

“What is it?” Rose asked anxiously.

“I think I know who the rest are. Rose, we’ve stuffed up big time.”

“Huh? Juleka?”

“Everything is located around an epicenter,” Juleka hissed, grabbing her phone and tapping furiously. “I’m sending a message.”

* * *

“I’m Crimson Mirage, I’m an artist who made a mistake and somehow got pulled in. In life, I’m known as…” He paused a moment while the mask vanished. “Nathaniel Kurtzberg.”

Viperion’s phone pinged a short melody, and as the others glanced around, he shook his head. “Sis has probably figured us out and is going to kill me.”

“Ah, yes, normal hero business,” Bunnyx nodded, to a few giggles.

* * *

“OH GOD!” Juleka practically screeched, causing half the class to jump in surprise as the usually closed-off girl nearly had a stroke. “I should have listened – oh god, we’re so screwed.”

Rose shuffled closer and wrapped an arm around Juleka’s shoulder. “It’s true we have a superhero in our class, but it’s not bad or anything,” she said soothingly.

Juleka just sighed and leaned over. “Thanks, Rose. That’s not what I meant, but you’re trying and I guess that’s what matters.”

Miss Bustier, who had lost control of the students about halfway through the film, wondered what on Earth was going down that it could cause Juleka to act like a cross between Alya and Marinette. Probably nothing good.

* * *

“My go!” Bunnyx stepped to the front. “Hey, I’m Bunnyx, the time-travelling rabbit. Along with this guy,” she jabbed a finger over her shoulder at Viperion, “I fix things when stuff goes wrong. I’m a skater girl and in civilian life, I’m Alix Kubdel! Bet you couldn’t guess that Jalil!”

Ladybug facepalmed as Imperial Fire moved forwards. “I’m Imperial Fire – yes, Chat Noir and I are dating, no, he’s not with Ladybug, no, I will not answer five million questions on it because we aren’t a TV show. I’m a fencer – in fact, I’m the daughter of a champion. My civilian name is Kagami Tsurugi.”

* * *

Juleka’s head was on the desk, Rose was absorbing her unease and pretty close to the wooden surface herself, Kim looked monumentally confused, Alya was freaking out, and Miss Bustier had decided it was wine time the moment she got home.

* * *

“I am Viperion,” the snake-themed boy said. “As Alix said, she and I control time, though in different ways. I’m a musician, it runs in the family, and continuing on from what Kagami said, Ladybug and I are dating. Please don’t kill me and hide the bits in our lunch.”

“Overly specific but okay,” Alix muttered.

“Entirely possible,” Lady Gold corrected her with a snicker.

“My sister is going to stab me with my on guitar pick, I am Luka Couffaine.”

* * *

“Juleka! Why didn’t you tell us?” Rose asked.

“I only found out five minutes ago when I texted him!” Juleka cried. “Like I said, we’re screwed! And I’m going to kill him!”

“I need to go,” Lila said suddenly. “My tinnitus is playing up really bad.”

“Oh, Lila, of course. You can –” Miss Bustier began, before Juleka cut her off.

“Don’t let her go!” she practically shrieked. “We all need to be here. We’ll be careful with her ears, just make sure everyone’s here!”

“Juleka! Sit down! What’s wrong?” Miss Bustier asked despairingly.

“We stuffed up,” was all Juleka would say. “We stuffed up.”

* * *

“I’m Lady Gold,” the Bee heroine said, stepping forward. “In the beginning, I was an accident, and I didn’t make the most of it, so I changed my name when I changed myself. Now, I’m into fashion, design, and riverside picnics – and since those two neglected to mention it, I may as well. Yes, myself, Nath, and Marc are together. My name is Chloé Bourgeois.”

* * *

“Uh oh,” Nino muttered.

“Nino?” Alya asked.

“Juleka’s right,” Nino said flatly. “We stuffed up.”

* * *

“I’m Chat Noir, your paw-some – let me have this for once, please, Princess? – your hero of destruction. As I mentioned before, I’m a model, and my life is mostly photoshoots, school, and being dragged around by my friends because apparently I need more of a life than anime –”

“You really do,” Ladybug said flatly.

“Anyway, so mew know – OW! Fire, you too? You’re meant to be on my side.”

Kagami sighed. “Just get it over with and you can make as many puns as you like.”

The boy huffed. “Okay. My name, and my father is going to kill me and bury me in the back garden for this, is Adrien Agreste.”

* * *

“Sir? Sir? Are you alright? Should I get you some water?”

* * *

“Wait…” Rose gasped. “Lila, you said you were dating Adrien?”

“We were! But we broke up and I set him and Kagami up!” Lila said quickly.

“Guys, Juleka is dead again,” Mylène pointed out. “Guys.”

“But that’s so cool! He’s _the_ Chat Noir!” Alya squealed.

Juleka made a strangled noise as Nino sighed heavily. “Alya? You’re not going to be happy in a second. In fact, you’re probably going to hate yourself. I do.”

* * *

“Just me left,” Ladybug said with a nervous grin. “Hi, I’m Ladybug. I like fashion too, like Chloé, and I’m also pretty good at baking. I sew and make my own works in my spare time and, believe it or not, I’m a klutz. My name…”

The mask and ribbons vanished, leaving the freckled girl standing there easily recognizable.

“…is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. And now, we have some Miraculouses to hand in.” She sighed out the last sentence. “So we’ll have to split, if that’s okay, Aurore?”

“Of course!” Aurore gasped. “But – ohmygosh! You guys all go to my school!”

“We did say there was an epicentre of attacks,” Adrien reminded her.

“Almost three-quarters of abuse-induced akumas,” Chloé recited. “Those files were scary.”

“We’ve gotta go,” Alix reminded them.

“Right. Goodbye, Paris. Maybe we’ll see you again in the future. Pound it?”

“Pound it,” Adrien agreed.

“Bug out!” Ladybug sang, and with swing of her yo-yo she was gone. The others slipped away just as easily (Alix went through a portal, much to Nathaniel’s ire as he narrowly missed being crash-tackled to the floor) and within moments, the studio was empty.

“Well, that was something!” Aurore said. “I’m going to be sad to see our old heroes go, but I’m glad to know a new squad’s ready to step up. Don’t forget, Paris, we can all work together to keep our city safe, starting with the source of akumas. This is Aurore Boreal for Channel 5!”

* * *

“Uh…”

“WHAT THE HELL?! YOU SAID YOU WERE HER BEST FRIEND! BUT YOU’VE BEEN TELLING US MARINETTE WAS HURTING YOU FOR MONTHS!”

“We also forgot Jagged calls her his niece,” Kim remembered with a groan. “How could we?”

“B-but – Marinette – she was our Everyday Ladybug and Class President and everything!” Rose wailed. “And didn’t they say she tried to – to –”

“Like I said,” Juleka said glumly. “We stuffed up.”

“LILA ROSSI, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

Nino grabbed Alya around the waist. “ALYA! ALYA, NO!”

“Class is dismissed!” Miss Bustier cried, and Lila ran out of the room.

“…now what happens?” Mylène asked worriedly.

“We wait,” Juleka sighed, soft and sad. “And try to make amends.”

* * *

“I nearly killed my son, I nearly killed my son, I nearly killed my son… do you think he’d hand over the Miraculous?”

Nathalie looked doubtful for a moment before schooling her features into neutrality. “Considering he’s been moonlighting as a costumed superhero, sir? No.”

“At least I won’t be attacking him anymore,” Gabriel said hopefully. “Maybe it was because I was fighting my own blood that I failed! It was instinct! Now I will succeed!”

* * *

“Chat de Nuit!” Adrien exclaimed.

“That’s suspiciously close,” Marc pointed out nervously.

“I’m a fan!” Adrien explained with a hint of self-satisfaction. “Plus, names have been reused before.”

“I suppose,” Marinette sighed. “But this time, Chloé and I are doing the costumes, because, no offense, Marc, but you look awful.”

“Um…”

“Can I keep the tail?” Nathaniel asked.

“Yes, you can keep the tail,” Chloé confirmed.

“Can I look the same and claim older me intervened?” Alix asked.

“And… how do we explain away each of us having the same nationality?” Kagami asked.

“I need a macaron,” Marinette grumbled.

“Don’t worry,” Luka sighed. “They won’t notice. I mean, I have blue hair and nobody figured me out. How many people my age have _blue hair?_ ”

“Ooh, free wi-fi!” Alix exclaimed, just as all their phones started pinging madly.

“And there goes the class,” Adrien sighed.

“Do we reply?” Marc asked, scrolling through endless notifications. “Even mine’s gone off. I barely speak to half these people!”

“Not yet, honey,” Chloé smirked. “Right, Mari?”

“Let them suffer a little longer,” Marinette nodded.

Luka shook his head in slight amusement. “Chloé, stop corrupting my girlfriend.”

“I blame Adrien!”

“Why me? Chlo, whyyyy???”

* * *

Here's the thing:

In hindsight, I would have used combined cel and airbrush shading instead of airbrush alone, and lessened the amount Marinette's nose juts out. But oh well.


End file.
